


Smile More

by ksdene



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: F/M, Major character death only in that Theo Sr. Dies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-15
Updated: 2016-07-15
Packaged: 2018-07-24 06:16:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7497234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ksdene/pseuds/ksdene
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time Aaron Burr met Mrs. Theodosia Prevost, it was as if the world had stopped.  He had never believed in love at first sight, but he’d considered it the moment he’d heard her laugh.   He said nothing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Smile More

**1777**

 

The first time Aaron Burr met Mrs. Theodosia Prevost, it was as if the world had stopped. He had never believed in love at first sight, but he’d considered it the moment he’d heard her laugh.   He said nothing.

 

She was married, and while she was a known patriot, her husband was still a British Officer, and he didn’t want to put her at any more risk than she already was. He was content to keep his affections to himself, outward displays limited to the platonic.

 

 

They were friends, they wrote to each other every day they could not speak in person. She was brilliant, more so than any other woman he had met in his life. They could talk for hours about philosophy, history, politics; she could draw even his most carefully guarded opinions out of him.

 

**1778**

 

He knew his frequent visits were suspicious, but he couldn’t help it.   He was not the only soldier to visit Mrs. Prevost’s home, but he was the only one who stayed awake until the candles were reaching their end, talking, and listening, telling stories and jokes just to be able to hear her laugh.

 

The first time they kissed, it was quiet and passionate, and for the second time in his life the world seemed to stop. They told no one

 

 

When William Patterson referred to Mrs. Prevost as the “object of Burr’s affection” the young Continental soldier simply smiled and shook his head. He didn’t mention the two letters he had prepared in case of his death in the war: one to be sent to his sister, and one to be sent to Theodosia.  He made a comment on how _Mrs._ Prevost was simply a dear friend, one whom he respected the opinions of, and enjoyed conversation with. No one could deny the way he lit up when he spoke of her however. He resigned from the Army that next year.

 

**1780**

 

Aaron knew Theodosia didn’t enjoy hiding their relationship, even though they both knew it was for her safety more than his. Still, when she brought up being open about their relationship, he did not object. Her husband was off fighting, and the Livingston’s and Paterson had protected her from her property being confiscated, there was no reason to think they wouldn’t be protected now.

 

When John Laurens brought up the rumors of his relationship with Theodosia, he did not immediately respond. He was almost ashamed by his hesitation. Hamilton, for all his faults, however, managed to pull him away from the situation. He would not deny their relationship. It simply wasn’t prudent to risk loosing Theo over something as simple as pride.

 

The first time someone mentioned the age difference Aaron was taken aback. Something in the back of his mind had warned him to be prepared for the comments, but it was still surprising. He met the jokes with a smile, and a crack at how love has no number. His eyes were too bright to even feign shame.

 

**1781**

Getting his petition to be admitted to the bar had proven more frustrating than he’d anticipated. His annoyance had become apparent in his very posture when he was informed that his petition was rejected once again, despite his best efforts not to let him affect him. With the war still on, it shouldn’t have come as a surprise.

 

His fatigue was lightened when he received a letter from Theodosia’s half sister: “If you have not seen the York Gazette, the following account will be news to you; We hear from Jamaica that Lieutenant Col. Prevost, Major of the 60th foot, died at that place in October last.” He kept his outward calm, and made sure to pen a letter to Theodosia. He was not happy a man had died, but there was nothing in their way. They could be together.

 

He received his license to practice law that January.

 

**1782**

Aaron wanted to be married as soon as possible. Theodosia was the one to hesitate. He knew she was right, and agreed: they would wait for it.

 

They took their time. Though they were openly in love, they made sure to wait an appropriate time to get married. Theodosia stayed with relatives. Aaron built his law practice. When word came that Theodosia’s sister was going to be married in July, he joined her for the occasion.

 

He arrived early, practically family at this point. The excitement of the wedding was too much. When the idea of making it a double wedding came onto the table, neither of them hesitated. They were married in an old coat and borrowed gloves and neither of them thought they could be any happier. Until that November when they realized their family was about to grow.

 

**1783**

 

Theodosia Jr. came into this world with as much fire as her mother, kicking and screaming. Yet she seemed calm as soon as she was held by either of her parents. Aaron thought he’d never stop smiling. Their beautiful, perfect, little girl. She inherited more than just a name from her mother: she too had Aaron wrapped around her finger from the moment he met her.

 

Theodosia knew how to handle babies, her sons had prepared her well. Aaron, on the other hand, was much more wary. Every sneeze and cough was a cause for panic. Theo would smile, hold his hand, and reassure him that that fall cold was not the same fever that had taken his father, nor the small pox that had taken his mother.

 

Beyond his worries Aaron took to fatherhood like a fish to water, and it was not a rare sight to see him reading to his daughter, smiling like she held the stars and her mother held the moon.

 

**1792**

 

Theodosia had been ill for as long as Aaron had known her, but for the first time, nothing the doctors had done was helping. He held her at night as the pain in her stomach worsened, praying as fervently as he could that God would have mercy and she would recover soon.

 

Their daughter remained the priority; where her mother was now too sick to attend to her education Aaron stepped in. There had never been any question from the moment they’d been told they had a daughter: she would receive the same education as her male counterparts. They gave the younger Theodosia every book she could ever want, and ensured that she always had tutors. Neither of them could hide their pride as she read throught _The Fall and Decline of the Roman Empire_ earlier than many of her male peers.

 

Aaron and Theodosia discussed the idea of him resigning from the Senate. He wanted to be with his family, to pick up the slack where his wife was now too ill to manage every detail. She told him no: his work was too important, and she could not justify robbing New York of one of their representatives. After all, this would likely pass with time, best not to make a mountain out of a molehill.

 

**1794**

 

There are moments that the words don’t reach. There is suffering too terrible to name. You hold your child as tight as you can, and push away the unimaginable.

 

Aaron knew it was coming. Her health had been deteriorating rapidly. Yet as he held his daughter’s hand as they lowered Theodosia’s coffin into the ground that hot day in May, his heart broke. They say things come in threes, and for the third time since he’d met Theodosia Bartow Burr, his world stopped.

 

He held his daughter as tight as he could, crying with her whenever she needed. He held her and promised he wasn’t going anywhere: that he wasn’t going to leave her too. Aaron promised that he’d do whatever he had to do to make sure he was there for her for as long as possible, not only for her sake, but for her mother’s sake as well. That’s what Theodosia would want; even if his entire world had been shaken, Aaron knew at least that much to be true.

**Author's Note:**

> I took a few creative liberties with speculating on emotion, but this is mostly based on historical facts I found while researching Aaron Burr's relationship with Theodosia. They were genuinely in love, despite the fact that Theodosia was ten years older than Aaron, and they modeled their relationship on "mature affection". They used to discuss philosophy, politics, and if one were to use modern terminology adjusted for the standards of the time, essentially radical feminists. They did get married in a last minute ceremony with Theodosia's half sister, and Theodosia Jr. is considered to be one of the most well educated women of her time.
> 
> You can find me at hamilshot.tumblr.com


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